


stay

by vinterborn



Category: Vinland Saga (Anime), Vinland Saga (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gay yearning, Incompetent boys and difficult feelings, M/M, Make what you want of the ending, Mutual Pining, My First Fanfic, POV Alternating, Thorfinn is 18 Canute is 19, Thornute, descriptions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:00:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23113579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinterborn/pseuds/vinterborn
Summary: Canute and Thorfinn try to work out their relationship.
Relationships: Canute/Thorfinn (Vinland Saga)
Kudos: 52





	stay

**Author's Note:**

> This was more of a practice just for the sake of getting back into writing though it turned out nicely so I decided to share it - hope you enjoy!

A cold and crispy day faded into a night but the prince didn't grow tired even as the sun sank down deep behind the woods. He hadn't been there to see it swoop low and plummet with a soft splash of green and gold. In this room his only sun was the crackling fireplace and time was measured by letters, plans and other kingly duties dropped down to his lap. A snowstorm had locked them in a small mountain village, now taken over by the Viking band. This was their third day, or maybe fourth - two too many in either case. The prince had lost count. Regular sleeping schedule didn't apply to his routine for rest came only in brief naps amidst of work. Canute knew he was supposed to sleep but his bed remained untouched. He didn't feel like sleeping, didn't feel like eating and certainly didn't feel like leaving his warm cottage. Ragnar was gone and the blonde royal was - if possible - even more distanced from everyone. He was supposed to be the king of these people but sitting there Canute felt like there were mountains between him and the get-together going on outside.

  


Suddenly the wind blew snow inside the room as a cold breeze faltered the flames. Thorfinn kicked the door in and almost off of its hinges. ”Oi,” the younger man grunted in his usual manner ”came to see if you’re still alive.” Canute kept his head low but turned to look at the viking over his shoulder. Long bangs shaded his blue eyes, now uncharacteristically pronounced by dark circles.  
  
”Barely,” the prince mumbled as an uninterested answer before returning to the book in hand. He sat on the furs in front of the fireplace reading one of the many books he'd salvaged on the first day of their stay. Canute’s eyes skimmed over the words but took nothing in, still he pretended to read. He didn’t feel like talking, but admittedly the company was more than welcome. Thorfinn seemed to bring a little life inside the dimly lit room, shuffling around a table with something in hand. Just his presence made the prince’s heart flutter, awakening something under the heavy blanket of sadness that had weighed the royal down for weeks.  
  
”Askeladd would kill me if you’d starve to death,” Thorfinn said nudging his shoulder with a plate. The prince hadn’t realised how hungry he was and the smell of hot stew was enough to make his mouth water. Canute muttered a thank you, accepting the plate without looking up. His fingertips brushed against the calloused, cold fingers of the viking, who was quick to draw his hand back with a frustrated click of his tongue. It wasn’t unusual for Thorfinn to jump away at touch, it had been like this when they met. Over time the viking boy had grown used to it, even seeking for the other man’s reassuring warmth now and then - but now it seemed like they were back at the beginning. All their recent fights and fruitless conversations had left a gaping wound in their relationship. Canute clutched the plate and ducked his head in avoidance. The mountains truly separated him from the vikings and unfortunately his only friend, the prince’s bodyguard happened to be a viking too.

  


Thorfinn shifted his balance, worried gaze heavy on Canute’s back. ”You know you can just get some food yourself when you get hungry,” The shorter man barked, annoyance only present in the choice of words. ”I ain’t your servant,” he added pointedly, tone lacking the sharpness and clearly worried more than anything. He hovered behind Canute’s back, clearly unsure how to approach the situation. Normally Thorfinn would’ve sprawled himself across the bed or laid down on the furs reaching his fingertips toward the warmth of the fireplace. But this wasn’t normal for Canute either. He was silent, shy and reserved by nature but not withdrawn or distant - not like this.  
  
”I know,” Canute admitted in between of spoonfuls.  
  
”So do you want to spar or just rot in here until the end of days?” Thorfinn pressed, trying to get some kind of response out of the older boy. He’d been reticent since Ragnar’s passing but this was too much. ”It’s not like you have that much work.” And they both knew it, but once again the prince stayed quiet until his silence was cut by irritated groan.  
  
”What’s wrong, princess?” He tried again, voice softer. Canute had become so hollow the viking boy wasn’t sure it was even him anymore. Every empty gaze felt like a needle pressed on Thorfinn’s finger, piercing the calloused skin and driving straight to the bone. Painful but not deadly, not even enough to draw blood care for the tiny red pearls forming at the base. One wasn’t enough to bother, a few more manageable but for two weeks they had been poked in his skin. His hands looked like Thorfinn had held a porcupine.  
  
Too many needles made it impossible for him to function normally. The feeling was ever-present like the absence of his friend. The unpleasant One too many-phase had come and gone several times by now. Nothing seemed to go through to reach the shy, curious blonde. No amount of light suggestions and teasing nor patient, carefully chosen words, not even every frustrated thought yelled to his face. There was a canyon too wide to cross and not even punching Canute could close the gap. Thorfinn tried that too. It didn’t matter how he tried he couldn’t find the magic words to bring Canute back. He didn’t even know the right term for this feeling in his heart, couldn’t put it to words. It was the most frustrating thing in the young viking’s life, not even Askeladd brought up this kind of discomfort in him.  
  
Balling his hands into fists Thorfinn felt all the little needles pushing in deeper and quilling his skin, burning like the red hot blood that slicked his fingers and pooled to the floor at his feet. The viking boy didn’t know how much longer he could live like this. The prince just sat there, curled in like a hedgehog. Spiky and unresponsive, out of reach.

  


”Hey Canute -” Thorfinn started concerned, voice cracking as he reached a hand out to touch the silent prince. Slap. Canute didn’t even realise he’d raised his hand but his fingers stung after hitting the viking boy away. Blue eyes stared up wide in shock, but the prince averted his gaze quickly. Thorfinn looked down, shocked and gaping.  
  
”Well fuck you too,” Thorfinn spat at him, hurt in his voice. Canute could see the typical scowl twisting the young warriors face even without looking. ”Sorry for even trying to help, geez.” He growled low, marching towards the door as the prince felt panic rising in his chest. When Thorfinn would be out the door there was no guarantee their relationship could go back to normal. Truthfully it had never been normal, but after Ragnar’s death their shared moments had become silent and shallow, conversations died quick. The warrior boy knew how to fight the difficulties in his life only by blade and Canute was too afraid to open up. Thorfinn wanted to be there for him, wanted to help but didn’t know how. He had grown frustrated, this wasn’t their first argument but it could well end up being their last.  
  
”Thorfinn,” His voice was hasty as Canute squeezed his shaking hands together. Shorter boy had stilled and he could feel the stare in his back as if Thorfinn had thrown one of his daggers at the prince. It was that time again when Canute had to say the two words he had been repeating all his life. The ones he had whispered to many people only for them to be left hanging in the air like dust particles in an abandoned house. Ignored, unanswered. Since Canute's childhood only one person listened to those words, not only hearing but also answering. Now that person was long gone, off to a better place. Somewhere warm and comfortable where there was no pain, no hunger, no suffering.

  


”Don’t go,” His voice was thick and heavy, words ripping his throat on the way out. Canute could swear he choked up blood that ran cold along his chin as he hung his head waiting for the other man to respond. The need to say more stung in his throat like he’d swallowed glass. Thorfinn was really important to him, now more than anything and the prince needed to say it so bad - but he couldn’t.  
  
When other faces around him were just masks to hide wants and needs this short and scarred young viking seemed to be the only one who needed nothing, being there for him only because he wanted to. This relationship, started off as an order from Askeladd, developed to friendship and more. Thorfinn truly was Canute’s oldest, dearest friend - far more than a bodyguard. He was a trustworthy companion, honest and kind in his own blunt way. The intentions behind Thorfinn’s sharp words were good willing, older boy had learnt to see that during their months spent together. Now he needed to tell this, had to say something, anything about what was going on in his mind but he couldn’t. Canute truly was a coward.  
  
The fire, albeit dying down, seemed to smoke the room and it had to be stinging Canute’s eyes. He was tearing up but refused to move back - refused to move at all, as if a mere shifting could scare the viking away. Canute was frozen in place, slumping over himself tired and miserable. The tense line of his shoulders suggested fear.  
  
”Stay with me,” was the only thing he managed to whisper, almost desperate.

  


Words never came out but Thorfinn padded his way back, plopping down on the furs beside Canute. The viking boy huffed, disgruntled, crossing his arms but accepting the offered words as an apology. ”Fine,” he grunted. ”You don’t want to talk.” It was a remark, not a question but Canute shook his head. He didn’t have to tell Thorfinn quiet again as silence was commonly shared between the two like they had shared a wooden wagon and the worn-out furs for many months. Sleeping back to back, sharing body heat and breathing the same air. Back then the only thing Canute wanted was for the other boy not to hate him. His old self couldn’t even daydream about friendship with Thorfinn, let alone fantasize what they’d had just a while ago.

  


Thorfinn released a breath, shifting his position and digging for his dagger to sharpen it as a pastime. He gripped the leather handle, but suddenly there was a soft touch on his arm. Amber eyes widened as the slender fingers wrapped around his wrist.  
  
”I need you, you know,” Canute spoke finally, voice thick from whatever emotion those brilliantly blue eyes tried to shine on him.  
  
”No,” He spoke calmly, ”you don’t.” If possible the blue eyes widened even more and Thorfinn felt a bit like drowning. It was like staring into a spring stream and trying to count the pebbles underneath the running water.

  


I need you by my side, Canute wanted to say. Who will sit next to me like this? Who will share this silent agreement and kinship, asking for nothing in return? Who else would be here just because they want, not because they want something from me? There’s no one without you. His mind was a flurry of thoughts he wanted to express to the shorter man but again Canute’s voice failed him. Slender fingers squeezed Thorfinn’s wrist as the prince swallowed, heartbeat pounding in his ears, hoping he could somehow forward the feelings without words. 

  


”You have everything here and a goal to achieve,” viking boy elaborated his statement further. ”England to take, lands to conquer and a peace to bring. Paradise on Earth, right?”  
  
”Become strong for me,” He said, slipping Canute’s dainty hand in his own and squeezing it. ”I won’t always be there to protect you.”

  


”But you will always be there for me?” Canute asked carefully, his words floating between the two very different young men. His blue eyes were shining, bright and pale like the spring sky spreading over endlessly green grass fields swaying in the wind.

**Author's Note:**

> Author here! Oh wow, this was my first ever fan fiction and first completed work in English. I want to give a huge thank you for my encouraging beta readers and the infinitely supportive, loving Vinland Saga community that adopted me two weeks ago. You were essential for the completion of this work and I'm eternally grateful! I want to also thank You for making it to the end of this short fic! Hope you enjoyed reading - don't hesitate to leave a comment below, all feedback is welcome, I'd love to hear your thoughts!


End file.
